Continuing our presentation of the upcoming release Sharanagati, in this post Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur sings of the sorrows of both household life and worldly existence itself, collectively referring to them both as samsar.
Sharanagati
Song Five
yauvane yakhana, dhana-upārjane,
ha-inu vipula kāmī
dharama smariyā, gṛhiṇīra kara,
dharinu takhana āmi [1]
yauvane–in youth; yakhana–when; dhana–wealth; upārjane–in earning; ha-inu–I became; vipula–greatly; kāmī–desirous; dharama–religion; smariyā–remembering; gṛhiṇīra–of a wife; kara–the hand; dharinu–took; takhana–then; āmi–I. [1]
(1) When I was young I became greatly desirous of earning money. Remembering my religious duty, I took the hand of a wife.
Sri Laghu-chandrika-bhashya
(1) dharama smariyā: “Remembering my religious duty.” This refers to the injunction: sastrīko dharmam ācharet, one should practise religious duty with a wife.
saṁsāre pātā’ye, tāhāra sahita,
kāla-kṣaya kainu kata
bahu suta-sutā, janama labhila,
marame ha-inu hata [2]
saṁsāre–to household life, material existence; pātā’ye–setting out; tāhāra–her; sahita–with; kāla–of time; kṣaya–destruction; kainu–did; kata–so much; bahu–many; suta–sons; sutā–and daughters; janama–birth; labhila–attained; marame–in my core; ha-inu–I became; hata–distressed. [2]
(2) I established a household with her and wasted so much time. We had many sons and daughters, and I became distressed at heart.
saṁsārera bhāra, bāḍe dine dine,
achala ha-ila gati
vārddhakya āsiyā, gherila āmāre,
asthira ha-ila mati [3]
saṁsārera–of household life; bhāra–the burden; bāḍe–increasing; dine–day; dine–by day; achala–immobile; ha-ila–became; gati–my path, destination; vārddhakya–old age; āsiyā–coming; gherila–besieged; āmāre–to me; asthira–unsteady, restless; ha-ila–became; mati–mind. [3]
(3) The burden of my household increased day by day and my progress towards attaining the goal of life came to a standstill. As old age came and besieged me, my mind became disturbed.
(3) achala ha-ila gati: “My progress towards attaining the goal of life came to a standstill.” This is explained by Sri Prabuddha to Maharaj Nimi in Srimad Bhagavatam (11.3.18):
karmāṇy ārabhamāṇānāṁ duḥkha-hatyai sukhāya cha
paśyet pāka-viparyāsaṁ mithunī-chāriṇāṁ nṛṇām
“One must see that those humans who unite in conjugal relationships and make endeavours to eliminate their distress and attain happiness (through sexual relations, producing offspring, accumulating wealth, maintaining a household, and so forth) incur the exact opposite result.”
vārddhakya āsiyā … asthira ha-ila mati: “As old age came … my mind became disturbed.” Seeing everyone suffering in illusion as he wandered throughout ancient India, Shankar Acharya would lament:
bālas tāvat krīḍāsaktaḥ taruṇas tāvat taruṇī-raktaḥ
vṛddhas tāvat chintā-magnāḥ pare brahmaṇi ko ’pi na lagnaḥ
(Moha-mudgara-stotram: 7)
“Boys are attached to play. Youths are attached to young women. The elderly are absorbed in worries. Alas! No one is conscious of the Supreme Absolute (Parabrahma).”
pīḍāya asthira, chintāya jvarita,
abhāve jvalita chita
upāya nā dekhi, andhakāra-maya,
ekhana hayechhi bhīta [4]
pīḍāya–with disease; asthira–unsteady; chintāya–with anxiety; jvarita–feverish; abhāve–in want, in privation; jvalita–burning; chita–heart; upāya–way out; na–not; dekhi–I see; andhakāra–blinding darkness; maya–filled with; ekhana–now; hayechhi–I have become; bhīta–frightened. [4]
(4) Restless with disease and feverish with anxiety, my heart burns with unfulfilled desire. I see no way out of this darkness and have now become fearful.
saṁsāra-taṭinī– srota nahe śeṣa,
maraṇa nikaṭe ghora
saba samāpiyā, bhajiba tomāya,
e āśā biphala mora [5]
saṁsāra–of household life, of material existence; taṭinī (nadī)–the river; srota–the current; nahe–does not; śeṣa–end; maraṇa–death; nikaṭe–near; ghora–terrible; saba–everything; samāpiyā–concluding; bhajiba–will serve; tomāya–You; e–this; āśā–hope; biphala–fruitless; mora–of mine. [5]
(5) There is no end to the torrent of the river of household life and fearsome death always looms nearby. “After finishing all of this, I will serve You”—this hope of mine has proven vain.
ebe śuna prabhu! āmi gati-hīna,
bhakati-vinoda kaya
tava kṛpā vinā, sakali nirāśā,
deha’ more padāśraya [6]
ebe–now; śuna–please listen; prabhu!–oh Lord!; āmi–I; gati–means of deliverance; hīna–devoid of; bhakati-vinoda–Bhakti Vinod; kaya–says; tava–Your; kṛpā–mercy; vinā–without; sakali–everything; nirāśā–hopeless; deha’–please bestow; more–upon me; pada–of Your feet; āśraya–the shelter. [6]
(6) Now please listen, oh Lord! I am utterly helpless. Bhakti Vinod prays, “Without Your mercy, everything is hopeless. Please give me the shelter of Your feet.”