Śrīla Bhakti Rakṣak Śrīdhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj describes his first attraction to Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Ṭhākur, as well as his continued engagement with his divine message.
We came to seek something good, and Mahāprabhu proposed the direction. I became somewhat charmed there, and felt, “Yes, this is very charming, very beautiful, and very capturing.” Then I searched for one who could distribute such things of satisfaction to my inner heart, and somehow I found my Master. He is canvassing exclusively for Mahāprabhu, and very strongly—surcharged with infinite energy to work on account of Śrī Gaurāṅga. With such intensity was that great dynamo! Then I accepted him and tried to offer myself to be taken within his shelter. I led my life following his order as much as I could, and now also I find that I am still under his shelter and doing some sort of duty as asked and ordered by him.
In this way I am passing my days trying to have the core of his advice from the different scriptures such as the Śrīmad Bhagavad-gītā and Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, and trying to find the culmination of what Mahāprabhu and our Gurudev expressed. With deeper and deeper thinking, I gradually received some satisfaction. If I were to not say that I am getting satisfaction then I would be doing some injustice to Gurudev and his associates. No other ideas or proposals can draw my attention. Rather, I am gaining firmer faith day by day in the teachings of Mahāprabhu, Vyāsadev, the Vraja-līlā, etc. Though Their nature is infinite, I find Their position is becoming stronger within me, and I must be satisfied with what little I can get. At the same time I feel in my good faith that this sort of life must be extended to others also. Thus I am passing my days.
By distributing Mahāprabhu’s message we are not going out to do anything bad, but according to our conception we are trying to do the holiest thing. Our purpose is of the holiest type ever possible to conceive, so we must go forward with this programme to do good for others, the best for others, and at the same time to get it for ourselves. There can be no engagement more holy than this in the world. It is the holiest engagement and has the blessings of the Lords Nityānanda and Śrī Gaurāṅga. It is duty to Them. It is Their department.
Preaching is the special department of Śrī Gaurāṅga and Nityānanda Prabhu. Nabadwīp Dhām is the place of Their blessings. Our prayer to Them is that, absolving us of all offences, They may utilise us. Here in Koladwīp, Nabadwīp, at the place of forgiveness of all offences, aparādh-bhañjan-pāṭ, we are praying that They may forgive us for all our previous offences and engage us in Their service to spread Kṛṣṇa consciousness together with Gaurāṅga consciousness.
Reference
Excerpt from Holy Engagement.