Śrīla Bhakti Rakṣak Śrīdhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj recalls hearing the truth revealed in the heart of his Guru Mahārāj.
Once, I was with Prabhupād when he came from Vṛndāvan to Gayā. There, he was invited to a big man’s place, and he delivered a lecture. It was so beautiful, and so many new things were coming out that I was feeling very disturbed that I could not note them down, so much so that I could not attend to the lecture deeply. I felt very disturbed that I should go and get a pen and paper. I felt so much uneasiness because I could not mark down those words. Afterwards, Guru Mahārāj told me, “You are a Gober Gaṇeś.” That means a Gaṇeś made of gober, cow dung (laughter). “You could not note down these things, these thoughts that came. Even I feel the necessity of going through them again.”
At that time, he gave an explanation of this particular verse:
satya-vrataṁ satya-paraṁ trisatyaṁ
satyasya yoniṁ nihitañ cha satye
satyasya satyam ṛta-satya-netraṁ
satyātmakaṁ tvāṁ śaraṇaṁ prapannāḥ
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam: 10.2.26)
The person whose house he went to visit was a satya-upāsak, a section known technically as those who worship satya [truth]. Then, what is the conception of satya? Mahāprabhu, Rādhā-Govinda, Nabadwīp, that is the highest conception of satya. Satya means not an abstract conception of law and rules, but of something transcendental. Satya is such. What is the relationship between Kṛṣṇa and satya? Guru Mahārāj was to explain this, and afterwards he said that he also wanted to see again the thoughts, the inspiration that was revealed in his heart, at that time. He wanted to see them. They were unknown to him. At least, he spoke in that way, that those thoughts were strangers even to him, but they passed through him, and he wanted to see them again. They were so fine.
I felt two sentiments. One, I was very much mortified that I could not note down those points, and two, I had some inner satisfaction that I could appreciate those points. Those extraordinary, higher points which were delivered then, I was very much disturbed that I could not note them down. So, I had the capacity of appreciating the highness of those higher sentiments. That was my satisfaction, that there is some inner element in me that can appreciate so much what our Guru Mahārāj also wants to have recorded to consult a second time. That was my satisfaction, but at the same time, I was mourning all through that I could not record for the public what our Guru Mahārāj also wanted to see again, what came, what passed through him.
We are instruments. Higher property may not stay in a particular plane always. By our negotiation, it may care to come down to particular persons. It may be very rarely found, few and far between. Higher property is the wealth of our Gurudev; it is never ours. That should be understood. So,
pūjāla rāga-patha gaurava bhaṅge
[“Worship the path of love in the posture of reverence.”]
Spoken 30 August 1981.